In each day I have 24 hours:
To earn
To eat
To laugh
To love
To work
To wash
To cook
To clean
To cry
To discuss
To decide
To engage
To ignore
To smile
To sleep
To seethe
To hug
To hurry
To talk
To tear
To dream
To do
Thursday, November 4, 2010
Thursday, June 24, 2010
Fatigue
My companion
My shadow
My friend
Fatigue
You know
You understand
You persist
Fatigue
I feel you
I fear you
I function
with you
Fatigue
When will I be without you?
A
My shadow
My friend
Fatigue
You know
You understand
You persist
Fatigue
I feel you
I fear you
I function
with you
Fatigue
When will I be without you?
A
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
Today, 8 years ago
Today is not a day for procrastination, I remind myself as I begin to ease my weary bones from my bed. The warmth of the blankets restrains me, compelling me to stay a few moments longer. The left side of the bed is empty. The sheets are wrinkle free and still carry the fragrance of newly laundered linen. No one has lain beside me for a time, the pristine pillow case testifies to the fact. In the crisp hours of new morn I yearn for the feel of another body against me, flesh on flesh, heart beating as one. I remember a time such as this. But, today I remind myself is not the day for memories, but a day for new adventures.
The movers are expected at 7 am; in the remaining hour I have endless tasks to complete. Eyes still closed I adjust the shower taps, step into the stream and allow the scalding liquid to soothe my aching soul.
The movers are expected at 7 am; in the remaining hour I have endless tasks to complete. Eyes still closed I adjust the shower taps, step into the stream and allow the scalding liquid to soothe my aching soul.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
White envelope (conflict)
It was a sensation I had never experienced until this moment, the raw comprehension of betrayal. In my stunned silence I did not know how to breathe and digest this realisation at the same time. I focused on the hard knot which had developed in the pit of my stomach, I am convinced my heart stopped beating, just for a moment. Minutes passed and yet I sat completely rigid on my twin seater couch, motionlesss. I no longer noticed the lumps which I sat on or the ugly brown suede which I loathed. At this moment I knew I would have to make a decision I never expected to face.
The letter arrived on a day I was home, unusual given I worked full time as a cadet journalist and did not have days off; but due to weekend committments my boss cut me some slack and let me off.
I lived in a shack, no exaggeration, it was a one bedroom fibro cement shack. The floors sloped awkwardly, mould on the bathroon walls grew virociously and my twin-tub washing machine churned in the loungeroom while I slept on a foam camping mattress. These few posessions plus my brown suede couch made my home.
I had been waiting for this letter for so long, I hoped it would provide answers to questions from my childhood - who was I , where did I belong, who the hell were my parents?
I got my answers, plus a few I never asked. Reading through the pages of court documents, original birth certificate and other identifying information I felt elated, until I read the line "NO children have been born to .......". In that moment my world changed. Not only was I adopted in less than ideal circumstances but my brother; the golden son, and only blood heir and was also adopted, overseas.
Everything was a lie, my life, his life, all lies. My brother had no idea.
What do you do when your 19 and hold information which could devastate someone else's life?
.
The letter arrived on a day I was home, unusual given I worked full time as a cadet journalist and did not have days off; but due to weekend committments my boss cut me some slack and let me off.
I lived in a shack, no exaggeration, it was a one bedroom fibro cement shack. The floors sloped awkwardly, mould on the bathroon walls grew virociously and my twin-tub washing machine churned in the loungeroom while I slept on a foam camping mattress. These few posessions plus my brown suede couch made my home.
I had been waiting for this letter for so long, I hoped it would provide answers to questions from my childhood - who was I , where did I belong, who the hell were my parents?
I got my answers, plus a few I never asked. Reading through the pages of court documents, original birth certificate and other identifying information I felt elated, until I read the line "NO children have been born to .......". In that moment my world changed. Not only was I adopted in less than ideal circumstances but my brother; the golden son, and only blood heir and was also adopted, overseas.
Everything was a lie, my life, his life, all lies. My brother had no idea.
What do you do when your 19 and hold information which could devastate someone else's life?
.
A Valenine's Day Letter
Dear Audra,
Well, another valetines day letter. Only the second one I’ve ever written. I think you remember the first one?
Not really sure how to start this one, but I’m sure I’ll find something to prattle about & keep you interested for a few minutes, you do tell me how much you look forward to getting a letter. I wonder if I’ll get one?
This past week, we’ve had, some up’s n down’s, the last couple of nights not ending on the happiest of notes. But, besides all that, life is pretty damn fine. Yep, I’m sure we will have minor glitches & issues along the journey our union takes us, but I’d like to think we manage to come out of all these very well. Maybe a little battered n bruised temporarily, but I think that seems to pass ok.
I guess that comes from being in things for the long run, that commitment that we have made to each other for a lifetime together. The want to make things work, and work well. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, so they say.
I often find myself reflecting on things, us mainly. Going over what is happening in our lives, all sorts of things, anything & everything. I always seem to come back to pretty much the same ending. That life is very good. How you have completed the picture, how glad I am to call you my wife, that there is not a finer lady out there that I could have at my side for the rest of my life. You tick all the boxes.
We have a couple of years history now, not a lot by some scales, maybe it seems more because we have known each other for some time before we became a couple. But there is one thing in particular that I relate back to our time together, it keeps popping up now and then. I can put myself back to the first time we shared a bottle. We have been back to that same place since & we shared a bottle on our engagement. We have enjoyed this wine other times as well, each time as I pick this bottle from the shelf, I find my mind returning to that restaurant that we dined at. Maybe we should go there again soon, for no particular reason.
Thank you for coming along this weekend, I hope it hasn’t been too painful. Who knows, you may become an AC/DC devotee!! I’ll keep working on you. I’ve been walking round all week whistling and singing their tunes, very much looking forward to the show.
As somehow you keep managing to work your power on me. I guess that’s why I find myself thinking of you so much, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it can be disappointing, I guess that’s why most of the time I’m smiling & why life is so good. Because you are everything to me.
You are my world.
You own my heart.
I hope I have yours to cherish for ever.
My dear Audra, I do love you so.
Jack lxxxx
Well, another valetines day letter. Only the second one I’ve ever written. I think you remember the first one?
Not really sure how to start this one, but I’m sure I’ll find something to prattle about & keep you interested for a few minutes, you do tell me how much you look forward to getting a letter. I wonder if I’ll get one?
This past week, we’ve had, some up’s n down’s, the last couple of nights not ending on the happiest of notes. But, besides all that, life is pretty damn fine. Yep, I’m sure we will have minor glitches & issues along the journey our union takes us, but I’d like to think we manage to come out of all these very well. Maybe a little battered n bruised temporarily, but I think that seems to pass ok.
I guess that comes from being in things for the long run, that commitment that we have made to each other for a lifetime together. The want to make things work, and work well. What doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger, so they say.
I often find myself reflecting on things, us mainly. Going over what is happening in our lives, all sorts of things, anything & everything. I always seem to come back to pretty much the same ending. That life is very good. How you have completed the picture, how glad I am to call you my wife, that there is not a finer lady out there that I could have at my side for the rest of my life. You tick all the boxes.
We have a couple of years history now, not a lot by some scales, maybe it seems more because we have known each other for some time before we became a couple. But there is one thing in particular that I relate back to our time together, it keeps popping up now and then. I can put myself back to the first time we shared a bottle. We have been back to that same place since & we shared a bottle on our engagement. We have enjoyed this wine other times as well, each time as I pick this bottle from the shelf, I find my mind returning to that restaurant that we dined at. Maybe we should go there again soon, for no particular reason.
Thank you for coming along this weekend, I hope it hasn’t been too painful. Who knows, you may become an AC/DC devotee!! I’ll keep working on you. I’ve been walking round all week whistling and singing their tunes, very much looking forward to the show.
As somehow you keep managing to work your power on me. I guess that’s why I find myself thinking of you so much, sometimes it hurts, sometimes it can be disappointing, I guess that’s why most of the time I’m smiling & why life is so good. Because you are everything to me.
You are my world.
You own my heart.
I hope I have yours to cherish for ever.
My dear Audra, I do love you so.
Jack lxxxx
Dear Cecilia
April 18th 2010
Dear Cecilia,
My apologies as this letter will reach you later than some of our colleagues. In my mayhem I call normal life I completely missed the deadline and thus am writing it post due date.
I must admit I know nothing about you, except my own liking of your name. Cecilia is such a stylish name with a touch of flair. I imagine you already know that your name originated in Rome and you are named after the patron saint of music. If you didn’t, now you do.
Well as I know little about you I shall fill you in on me, a subject I can be reasonably knowledgeable about. I apologise as this information may bore you to tears, if so, feel free to open a bottle of red and sit back and let the words blur.
I am now pushing forty and am not so thrilled about this prospect. I spent my earlier years raising six children (same father/husband, just in case you were wondering), my youngest is now nine years old and the eldest 19, she will be 20 the day before I turn 40, so of course if you do the math, I was young to say the least when my first treasure popped out. Since then I delivered two strapping twin boys, who look rather similar and now tower over me. I was then blessed with a daughter, another son and my youngest, another daughter. Three boys and three girls, I thought was very clever! Now post divorce and re-marriage I am the wicked step mum to two more boys and wife to my new husband of just over a year.
Apart from producing off spring I have enjoyed rather varied working life training as a journalist and then moving into sales before turning to education. I am currently a training coordinator at transitional training centre for youth people with learning barriers. it is challenging, long hours, poor pay and huge personal satisfaction. Our students range on age from 13 to 29 and have a diverse range of reasons for being a part of our program, but they all belong and each day make progress, some tiny steps other leaps of achievement. I love my job; I work full time with an amazing team of dedicated staff and for this I am very grateful.
When I am not a training coordinator, wife, mother or stepmother I love to go to the beach, read, bush camp, catch up with friends for coffee or simply sleep.
Throughout my life, even as a youngster I have loved language, stories and anything in print. Books provided me with an escape and reading still remains my favourite pastime.
Dear Cecilia,
My apologies as this letter will reach you later than some of our colleagues. In my mayhem I call normal life I completely missed the deadline and thus am writing it post due date.
I must admit I know nothing about you, except my own liking of your name. Cecilia is such a stylish name with a touch of flair. I imagine you already know that your name originated in Rome and you are named after the patron saint of music. If you didn’t, now you do.
Well as I know little about you I shall fill you in on me, a subject I can be reasonably knowledgeable about. I apologise as this information may bore you to tears, if so, feel free to open a bottle of red and sit back and let the words blur.
I am now pushing forty and am not so thrilled about this prospect. I spent my earlier years raising six children (same father/husband, just in case you were wondering), my youngest is now nine years old and the eldest 19, she will be 20 the day before I turn 40, so of course if you do the math, I was young to say the least when my first treasure popped out. Since then I delivered two strapping twin boys, who look rather similar and now tower over me. I was then blessed with a daughter, another son and my youngest, another daughter. Three boys and three girls, I thought was very clever! Now post divorce and re-marriage I am the wicked step mum to two more boys and wife to my new husband of just over a year.
Apart from producing off spring I have enjoyed rather varied working life training as a journalist and then moving into sales before turning to education. I am currently a training coordinator at transitional training centre for youth people with learning barriers. it is challenging, long hours, poor pay and huge personal satisfaction. Our students range on age from 13 to 29 and have a diverse range of reasons for being a part of our program, but they all belong and each day make progress, some tiny steps other leaps of achievement. I love my job; I work full time with an amazing team of dedicated staff and for this I am very grateful.
When I am not a training coordinator, wife, mother or stepmother I love to go to the beach, read, bush camp, catch up with friends for coffee or simply sleep.
Throughout my life, even as a youngster I have loved language, stories and anything in print. Books provided me with an escape and reading still remains my favourite pastime.
White envelope ( 2nd rewrite)
Glancing outside I see the postman struggling to fit the mail in my small letter box. The icy westerly blows as I make a dash to grab the envelopes. The chill in the air makes my nose run and eyes water; even though I only have to walk fifty steps or so.
Relieved to be back inside, I bee line for the kitchen and park myself in front of the combustion stove to warm my hands. Throwing the mail on the table, I noticed the large white envelope. In a heartbeat, I recognize the bureau’s address. I look at it for a moment and then walk away. In my mind’s eye I can see it - rectangular, crisp and clean the address neat and perfectly aligned.
As I sit down, letting my mind wander, despair and loneliness begin to surround me. I have been expecting this letter; I do not anticipate revelations of any great mysteries, but what if I am disappointed? What if another door is closed in my search for a past? I cannot help but ask myself such questions. I wonder if I am brave or simply desperate to justify my sense of doubt.
Even in my earliest childhood I sought to play the games that led to achievement and acceptance. I doubt, however my brother’s experiences were anything beyond adoration and edification. Two years older than me, he played the role of the perfect son, molding himself to fulfill our parent’s expectations. Vanilla and
Chocolate is what we should have been named, so obvious and strong were our differences.
For a while, I leave the kitchen to busy myself, occasionally glancing towards the table. As I fold the washing, I am for a moment comforted by the soft downy feel of my infant’s blanket. Satin cream ribbon borders the ivory material, with daintily embroidered butterflies which seem to dance on each corner. My baby girl, my great achievement, my Mary; she is the reason I began my search; it was for her that I have unlocked my heart and asked who am I?
Feeling older than my 20 years; I watch my baby sleeping, only a few weeks old, and wonder if anyone had looked at me like this. Returning to the kitchen, I touch the envelope, run my finger along the smooth edge, and turn it over and over. I read my name, I hate it. Jones, such a nothing name, I think maybe it suited such a nothing girl. I will myself not to walk with my memory; I cannot go there now; already I am terrified.
Moving the lumpy bits in my couch, I curl my legs under me and pull the throw a little higher. I want Ali to wake, to distract me from my mail, but her breathing is smooth and she shows no signs of joining me. If I wait maybe Ali’s father will come home tonight, maybe he won’t. Either way I know I cannot wait any longer, with courage I do not know I have, the seal is broken.
Relieved to be back inside, I bee line for the kitchen and park myself in front of the combustion stove to warm my hands. Throwing the mail on the table, I noticed the large white envelope. In a heartbeat, I recognize the bureau’s address. I look at it for a moment and then walk away. In my mind’s eye I can see it - rectangular, crisp and clean the address neat and perfectly aligned.
As I sit down, letting my mind wander, despair and loneliness begin to surround me. I have been expecting this letter; I do not anticipate revelations of any great mysteries, but what if I am disappointed? What if another door is closed in my search for a past? I cannot help but ask myself such questions. I wonder if I am brave or simply desperate to justify my sense of doubt.
Even in my earliest childhood I sought to play the games that led to achievement and acceptance. I doubt, however my brother’s experiences were anything beyond adoration and edification. Two years older than me, he played the role of the perfect son, molding himself to fulfill our parent’s expectations. Vanilla and
Chocolate is what we should have been named, so obvious and strong were our differences.
For a while, I leave the kitchen to busy myself, occasionally glancing towards the table. As I fold the washing, I am for a moment comforted by the soft downy feel of my infant’s blanket. Satin cream ribbon borders the ivory material, with daintily embroidered butterflies which seem to dance on each corner. My baby girl, my great achievement, my Mary; she is the reason I began my search; it was for her that I have unlocked my heart and asked who am I?
Feeling older than my 20 years; I watch my baby sleeping, only a few weeks old, and wonder if anyone had looked at me like this. Returning to the kitchen, I touch the envelope, run my finger along the smooth edge, and turn it over and over. I read my name, I hate it. Jones, such a nothing name, I think maybe it suited such a nothing girl. I will myself not to walk with my memory; I cannot go there now; already I am terrified.
Moving the lumpy bits in my couch, I curl my legs under me and pull the throw a little higher. I want Ali to wake, to distract me from my mail, but her breathing is smooth and she shows no signs of joining me. If I wait maybe Ali’s father will come home tonight, maybe he won’t. Either way I know I cannot wait any longer, with courage I do not know I have, the seal is broken.
White envelope (rewrite)
Glancing outside I see the postman struggling to fit the mail in my small letter box. The icy westerly blows as I make a dash to grab my letters. The chill in the air makes my nose run and eyes water; even though I only have to walk fifty steps or so. Relieved to be back inside, I bee line for the kitchen and park myself in front of the combustion stove to warm my hands. Throwing the mail on the table I noticed the large white envelope. In a heartbeat, I recognize the bureau’s address. I look at it for a moment and then walk away. In my mind’s eye I can see it, rectangular, crisp and clean the address neat and perfectly aligned.
As I sit down, letting my mind wander, despair and loneliness begin to surround me. I have been expecting this letter; I do not anticipate revelations of any great mysteries, but what if I am disappointed. What if another door is closed in my search for a past? I cannot help but ask myself such questions. I wonder if I am brave or simply desperate to justify my sense of doubt.
Even in my earliest childhood I sought to play the games that led to achievement and acceptance. I doubt, however my brother’s experiences were anything beyond adoration and edification. Two years older than me, he played the role of the perfect son, moulding himself to fulfill our parent’s expectations. Vanilla and Chocolate is what we should have been named, so obvious and strong were our differences.
For a while, I leave the kitchen to busy myself, occasionally glancing towards the table. As I fold the washing, I am for a moment comforted by the soft downy feel of my infant’s blanket. Satin cream ribbon borders the ivory material, with daintily embroidered butterflies which seem to dance on each corner. My baby girl, my great achievement, my Ali; she is the reason I began my search; it was for her that I have unlocked my heart and asked who am I?
Feeling older than my 20 years; I watch my baby sleeping, only a few weeks old, and wonder if anyone had looked at me like this.
Returning to the kitchen, I touch the envelope, run my finger along the smooth edge, and turn it over and over. I read my name, I hate it. Jones, such a nothing name, I think maybe it suited such a nothing girl. I will myself not to walk with my memory; I cannot go there now; already I am terrified.
Moving the lumpy bits in my couch, I curl my legs under me and pull the throw a little higher. I want Ali to wake, to distract me from my mail, but her breathing is smooth and she shows no signs of joining me. If I wait maybe Ali’s father will come home tonight, maybe he won’t. Either way I know I cannot wait any longer, with courage I do not know I have, the seal is broken.
As I sit down, letting my mind wander, despair and loneliness begin to surround me. I have been expecting this letter; I do not anticipate revelations of any great mysteries, but what if I am disappointed. What if another door is closed in my search for a past? I cannot help but ask myself such questions. I wonder if I am brave or simply desperate to justify my sense of doubt.
Even in my earliest childhood I sought to play the games that led to achievement and acceptance. I doubt, however my brother’s experiences were anything beyond adoration and edification. Two years older than me, he played the role of the perfect son, moulding himself to fulfill our parent’s expectations. Vanilla and Chocolate is what we should have been named, so obvious and strong were our differences.
For a while, I leave the kitchen to busy myself, occasionally glancing towards the table. As I fold the washing, I am for a moment comforted by the soft downy feel of my infant’s blanket. Satin cream ribbon borders the ivory material, with daintily embroidered butterflies which seem to dance on each corner. My baby girl, my great achievement, my Ali; she is the reason I began my search; it was for her that I have unlocked my heart and asked who am I?
Feeling older than my 20 years; I watch my baby sleeping, only a few weeks old, and wonder if anyone had looked at me like this.
Returning to the kitchen, I touch the envelope, run my finger along the smooth edge, and turn it over and over. I read my name, I hate it. Jones, such a nothing name, I think maybe it suited such a nothing girl. I will myself not to walk with my memory; I cannot go there now; already I am terrified.
Moving the lumpy bits in my couch, I curl my legs under me and pull the throw a little higher. I want Ali to wake, to distract me from my mail, but her breathing is smooth and she shows no signs of joining me. If I wait maybe Ali’s father will come home tonight, maybe he won’t. Either way I know I cannot wait any longer, with courage I do not know I have, the seal is broken.
White envelope
The large white envelope was placed on the table. Lying next to the fruit bowl, painted in vibrant colours, it seems out of place. I look at it for a moment and then walk away. In my minds eye I can see it, rectangular, crisp and clean, the hand written address neat and perfectly aligned. But it is the sender's address which draws me back and causes a moment of despair.
Answers to years of questions - could they really be found in this package?
I sit down, feeling older than my 20 years; I watch my baby sleeping, only a few weeks old, and wonder if anyone had looked at me like this.
I busy myself with endless tasks, occasionally glancing towards the table. I am terrified.
With courage I do not know I have, the seal is broken. Despite my blurred vision, I know before me are the papers I have been praying for. With tears silently falling, I know the journey has just begun.
My eyes run rapidly over the documents, so many pieces of paper, I am now ravenous and hungrily devour the information before me. I read my name, Audra, how unusual, I think. Aunts and uncles, grandparents, these are my relatives. A thousand questions swirl in my mind, too many too fast. I am filled with expectation; I feel the warmth of hope surround my heart. I have a family, a past, I wonder if I have a future.
With a dreamy smile and fresh cup of coffee, I settle into my $2 couch and begin to read. Steaming black coffee scolds my throat as a sharp coldness surrounds me. This cannot be true, I tell myself, this cannot be happening. Adopted? I repeat the sentence “no children have been born to…they have an adopted son…overseas.”
My heart constricts, I cannot breathe, and it hurts so much, I want it to stop; I want the pain to go. I can longer read the papers my hand shakes as my fists clench hard creasing the document I hold. Adopted! Not just me, but my brother too. The lies, the deceit, and the stories: all lies.
In that moment I feel hatred as I will never feel again, anger burns in my belly and I close my eyes and try to erase it all. I pace, cover my ears and scrunch my eyes but the memories roll in surround sound and full colour. I remember the fear I felt, the humiliation and the pain. I recall it all so clearly - yelling, throwing, embarrassment and now this lie. He was the golden child, the only biological off spring. My head is spinning, the tears flow freely. The tears that never flowed for fear of reprisal continue to stream, 20 years of anger creates a lot of tears.
I cannot remember the rest of this day with clarity. It was a day of shattered hopes and dreams. A day, when a sense of betrayal became my shadow, and trust, a distant friend.
Answers to years of questions - could they really be found in this package?
I sit down, feeling older than my 20 years; I watch my baby sleeping, only a few weeks old, and wonder if anyone had looked at me like this.
I busy myself with endless tasks, occasionally glancing towards the table. I am terrified.
With courage I do not know I have, the seal is broken. Despite my blurred vision, I know before me are the papers I have been praying for. With tears silently falling, I know the journey has just begun.
My eyes run rapidly over the documents, so many pieces of paper, I am now ravenous and hungrily devour the information before me. I read my name, Audra, how unusual, I think. Aunts and uncles, grandparents, these are my relatives. A thousand questions swirl in my mind, too many too fast. I am filled with expectation; I feel the warmth of hope surround my heart. I have a family, a past, I wonder if I have a future.
With a dreamy smile and fresh cup of coffee, I settle into my $2 couch and begin to read. Steaming black coffee scolds my throat as a sharp coldness surrounds me. This cannot be true, I tell myself, this cannot be happening. Adopted? I repeat the sentence “no children have been born to…they have an adopted son…overseas.”
My heart constricts, I cannot breathe, and it hurts so much, I want it to stop; I want the pain to go. I can longer read the papers my hand shakes as my fists clench hard creasing the document I hold. Adopted! Not just me, but my brother too. The lies, the deceit, and the stories: all lies.
In that moment I feel hatred as I will never feel again, anger burns in my belly and I close my eyes and try to erase it all. I pace, cover my ears and scrunch my eyes but the memories roll in surround sound and full colour. I remember the fear I felt, the humiliation and the pain. I recall it all so clearly - yelling, throwing, embarrassment and now this lie. He was the golden child, the only biological off spring. My head is spinning, the tears flow freely. The tears that never flowed for fear of reprisal continue to stream, 20 years of anger creates a lot of tears.
I cannot remember the rest of this day with clarity. It was a day of shattered hopes and dreams. A day, when a sense of betrayal became my shadow, and trust, a distant friend.
Winery Wedding
‘From this day forward,
You shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter,
And my arms will be your home.’
Author Unknown
Dear
You are invited to celebrate the marriage of Jack and Audra
Ceremony: Lake Tyers Beach - Red Bluff (see attached map)
Date: Saturday January 31st 2009@ 4.30pm
Reception: Wyanga Park Winery, Baades Rd, Lakes Entrance. Guests are invited to join us on a cruise, departing @ 6.30pm from Post Office Jetty, to travel to the venue.
Those who prefer to drive to the reception, please see map attached.
Dress: Semi formal (No shorts or denim please)
(Shoes on the beach optional)
Special Request
As a memento of our wedding guests are invited to write A Letter to the Bride and Groom.
“Pictures may tell a thousand words,
But words reveal the heart of man;
Words paint a picture which no stranger can portray.
The art of fine penmanship is to be savoured for all time.”
A letter box will be placed at the reception for these personal mementos to be posted.
Further information:
In lieu of presents we request that guests pay for their own accommodation.
A special group booking has been arranged for all wedding guests to stay at The Pelican At Lakes Motel situated at 171 on The Esplanade.
Rooms will be available from 2.00pm to refresh prior to the wedding. Accommodation venue has been booked out so there will be no other guests on the premises. All rooms are on ground level. There is a pool available and all rooms are air-conditioned and have tea/coffee making facilities.
Room configurations:
20 x standard rooms (queen & single)
4 x family rooms (queen & 2 single)
3 x 2 bdrm units (queen bed, 2 singles & queen sofa)
Cost: Bed and Breakfast: Twin share $48.50pp
Triple Share or more $44.50 pp
On Sunday, February 1st from 8.30am everyone is invited to join us for a Continental breakfast at The Pelican (which is included in the price of your accommodation if you choose to stay there)
Guests will be transported to and from the Winery via the lake. The cruise is approximately 45 minutes, with drinks to enjoy on the way. Guests are requested to meet at the jetty ready to leave at 6.30pm. The jetty is five minutes walk from the motel. The cruise is optional, and for those who prefer to drive a map is attached. Guests are expected to arrive from 7.15pm at the Winery.
Please return the attached RSVP by November 10th via snail mail
Name/s:____________________________________________________________
I/We will be attending Yes/No
I/We will be travelling on the cruise Yes/No
I/We require accommodation Yes/No
Please book Me/Us (please circle):
Family room
2 bedroom unit
Standard room
You shall not walk alone.
My heart will be your shelter,
And my arms will be your home.’
Author Unknown
Dear
You are invited to celebrate the marriage of Jack and Audra
Ceremony: Lake Tyers Beach - Red Bluff (see attached map)
Date: Saturday January 31st 2009@ 4.30pm
Reception: Wyanga Park Winery, Baades Rd, Lakes Entrance. Guests are invited to join us on a cruise, departing @ 6.30pm from Post Office Jetty, to travel to the venue.
Those who prefer to drive to the reception, please see map attached.
Dress: Semi formal (No shorts or denim please)
(Shoes on the beach optional)
Special Request
As a memento of our wedding guests are invited to write A Letter to the Bride and Groom.
“Pictures may tell a thousand words,
But words reveal the heart of man;
Words paint a picture which no stranger can portray.
The art of fine penmanship is to be savoured for all time.”
A letter box will be placed at the reception for these personal mementos to be posted.
Further information:
In lieu of presents we request that guests pay for their own accommodation.
A special group booking has been arranged for all wedding guests to stay at The Pelican At Lakes Motel situated at 171 on The Esplanade.
Rooms will be available from 2.00pm to refresh prior to the wedding. Accommodation venue has been booked out so there will be no other guests on the premises. All rooms are on ground level. There is a pool available and all rooms are air-conditioned and have tea/coffee making facilities.
Room configurations:
20 x standard rooms (queen & single)
4 x family rooms (queen & 2 single)
3 x 2 bdrm units (queen bed, 2 singles & queen sofa)
Cost: Bed and Breakfast: Twin share $48.50pp
Triple Share or more $44.50 pp
On Sunday, February 1st from 8.30am everyone is invited to join us for a Continental breakfast at The Pelican (which is included in the price of your accommodation if you choose to stay there)
Guests will be transported to and from the Winery via the lake. The cruise is approximately 45 minutes, with drinks to enjoy on the way. Guests are requested to meet at the jetty ready to leave at 6.30pm. The jetty is five minutes walk from the motel. The cruise is optional, and for those who prefer to drive a map is attached. Guests are expected to arrive from 7.15pm at the Winery.
Please return the attached RSVP by November 10th via snail mail
Name/s:____________________________________________________________
I/We will be attending Yes/No
I/We will be travelling on the cruise Yes/No
I/We require accommodation Yes/No
Please book Me/Us (please circle):
Family room
2 bedroom unit
Standard room
Post wedding
February 18, 2009
Hello one and all
Now the dust has settled and life is back to normal we would like to say a big hearty thank you for sharing our wedding day with us and making it just perfect.
We spent a late night Sunday reading all our fabulous letters, poems and other interesting literary works. Tears of laughter and profound gratefulness flowed freely, as we realized just how blessed we are to have such amazing friends and relatives. These keepsakes will be cherished for many years to come.
To those of you, who were naughty, and bought us gifts and gift vouchers – a heartfelt thank you. They were indulgent and wonderful. We have and will continue to enjoy them over the next few months.
Life in the household has settled into a smooth rhythm of laughter, sibling “love” and general organized chaos.
Mr and Mrs are fabulous and looking forward to a honeymoon somewhere down the distant track.
Once again thank you for being there for us as we celebrated a most memorable occasion. It will never be forgotten thanks to the thousands of photos, yes thousands, taken on the day.
As always we look forward to catching up with everyone as time goes by.
You all know where we live, the door is always open (don’t be put off by the rumbling you can hear coming from inside) and the kettle’s always hot, not too forget a good supply of grape juice!
Love you heaps
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Hello one and all
Now the dust has settled and life is back to normal we would like to say a big hearty thank you for sharing our wedding day with us and making it just perfect.
We spent a late night Sunday reading all our fabulous letters, poems and other interesting literary works. Tears of laughter and profound gratefulness flowed freely, as we realized just how blessed we are to have such amazing friends and relatives. These keepsakes will be cherished for many years to come.
To those of you, who were naughty, and bought us gifts and gift vouchers – a heartfelt thank you. They were indulgent and wonderful. We have and will continue to enjoy them over the next few months.
Life in the household has settled into a smooth rhythm of laughter, sibling “love” and general organized chaos.
Mr and Mrs are fabulous and looking forward to a honeymoon somewhere down the distant track.
Once again thank you for being there for us as we celebrated a most memorable occasion. It will never be forgotten thanks to the thousands of photos, yes thousands, taken on the day.
As always we look forward to catching up with everyone as time goes by.
You all know where we live, the door is always open (don’t be put off by the rumbling you can hear coming from inside) and the kettle’s always hot, not too forget a good supply of grape juice!
Love you heaps
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Dear Dr
Dear Dr M
Anthony is 11 years old and is the fifth child out of six.
His behaviour was noticeably different to his older siblings as a toddler, particularly from about the age of three.
Anthony is an extremely sensitive boy, who reacts to many situations in an extreme manner.
He has had difficulty blending with his peers and even his siblings.
He has a tendency to talk in “fast forward” about the topic of his choice without regard for his listener. He is quite obsessive in his activities.
Anthony tends to do all tasks by routine and certainly functions better if this does not change.
Anthony has spoken with “an accent” since he was young.
He has been described as “quirky, weird, strange, egocentric and a sook” by a variety of people.
It was not until he began attending school that I noticed how peculiar some of his behaviours were.
Anthony struggles with group activities and prefers to do his own thing.
He has in the past had trouble making friends because of his odd behaviours. He has a group of friends now that share his interests and are a little different themselves.
Anthony has been tested for Audio processing difficulties and he has been to a Speech Therapist; he wore glasses until the end of 2007 and has had a WISC 111 completed as well.
He is an intelligent boy who is quite obsessive about things of his choice only. He does not like loud noises, people who talk loudly yet he talks loudly himself. He is quick to get angry at what he sees as the injustice of things, often this is misinterpretation. He is often abrupt in his responses; they are often in a defensive manner. He does not like physical contact, unless it is initiated by him.
He only eats certain foods and will not try new things, he likes the same thing for breakfast each day and also lunch. He has a limited diet because his food choices.
My concern is that as he progresses in school he is finding it more difficult with the many teachers he comes across and their different expectations and ways of teaching. He is an intelligent boy but this is not always reflected in his school marks due mainly to lack of organisation and his disinterest in the topics.
Regards AK
2008
Anthony is 11 years old and is the fifth child out of six.
His behaviour was noticeably different to his older siblings as a toddler, particularly from about the age of three.
Anthony is an extremely sensitive boy, who reacts to many situations in an extreme manner.
He has had difficulty blending with his peers and even his siblings.
He has a tendency to talk in “fast forward” about the topic of his choice without regard for his listener. He is quite obsessive in his activities.
Anthony tends to do all tasks by routine and certainly functions better if this does not change.
Anthony has spoken with “an accent” since he was young.
He has been described as “quirky, weird, strange, egocentric and a sook” by a variety of people.
It was not until he began attending school that I noticed how peculiar some of his behaviours were.
Anthony struggles with group activities and prefers to do his own thing.
He has in the past had trouble making friends because of his odd behaviours. He has a group of friends now that share his interests and are a little different themselves.
Anthony has been tested for Audio processing difficulties and he has been to a Speech Therapist; he wore glasses until the end of 2007 and has had a WISC 111 completed as well.
He is an intelligent boy who is quite obsessive about things of his choice only. He does not like loud noises, people who talk loudly yet he talks loudly himself. He is quick to get angry at what he sees as the injustice of things, often this is misinterpretation. He is often abrupt in his responses; they are often in a defensive manner. He does not like physical contact, unless it is initiated by him.
He only eats certain foods and will not try new things, he likes the same thing for breakfast each day and also lunch. He has a limited diet because his food choices.
My concern is that as he progresses in school he is finding it more difficult with the many teachers he comes across and their different expectations and ways of teaching. He is an intelligent boy but this is not always reflected in his school marks due mainly to lack of organisation and his disinterest in the topics.
Regards AK
2008
Christmas 2009
Christmas 2009
Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more."
~ Dr. Seuss (1904-1991).
To our dear friends and family,
Once again I am sitting here thinking how fast the year has gone and wondering if I filled each moment with something worthy. I am not sure of the answer but I hope I made a decent effort, thankfully I have next year to work on it.
For now however, I am simply allowing the Christmas magic to surround me. This wonderful festive season fills our home with music, decorations, lights and the lovely aroma of fresh baked mince tarts and shortbread. You are of course always welcome to call in and sample my many attempts at Christmas baking. I am reasonably happy with this last batch of mince tarts, the pastry is quite good but the filling is from a jar. I have fruit and brandy marinating as I write so will have to wait until I have a verdict. Our tree is still not up, yikes, and it is the middle of December but this is not for lack of trying - the dilemma we face is getting everyone home at the some time for longer than ½ an hour.
This is naturally the chaotic pace of our home.
2009 has been a good year, no major disasters came our way (we only had three children on crutches) and we are all still smiling at the end of each day. We started the year with our wedding, which was amazing and we are patiently waiting for an opportunity to take a honeymoon. We have enjoyed a few trips to Lake Tyers and enjoyed the sand, surf and blistering wind on occasion, despite the weather it is always the most preferred location to relax. The family is looking forward to next weekend when we can spend a few days together. Canoe and kayak on board not to forget the deck of cards, a bottle or two of red and we will be set.
All the children have completed school for another year with pleasing results. Chris and James said farewell to school at the end of November and are looking forward to moving onto a sports specific program in 2010.
Mary completed her Traineeship this month and is keenly anticipating a pay rise and promotion. She is a welcome sight when she calls around home, nowadays with Jas (her new beau) in tow.
Lee still works at the dog track each week; he has completed Year 9 and has his sights set high picking some rather complex subjects for next year. Lee plans to continue umpiring this football season.
Max is enjoying a hit of cricket on the weekends. His first year in secondary school was very social but he has brought home some great results this term. Max is keeping his sporting interest active looking forward to a new football season soon.
Elyse is still enjoying her creative streak, scrapbooking and cooking whenever she has a free moment. She ‘graduated’ from Year 9 and is ready to hit the senior campus next year. Anthony has had tough first year of secondary school but continues to keep us entertained with his antics at home. Elyse has had a good year at her new school, making many friends and is eagerly awaiting Grade 4.
Jack and I are still happily employed, and are both looking forward to ten days in January where we will have holidays at the same time! I took on a new role half way through this year as Training Coordinator and it has presented many challenges but I am, as always, supported by my family and amazing network of friends which allows me to take on such an exciting role.
This year has seen us enjoy a trip to Sydney for football, watched the twins play in the Victorian State Team( coached by Nathan Buckley)endless trips to Melbourne; a couple of literary events, trips to the theatre and the odd dinner at Southbank.
My book club (Book Buddies) ran for the first time this year, meeting once a month – books, wine, food and women – how much better can it possibly get?
When not gallivanting around the state we (Jack really) are organizing and coordinating some major renovations and additions to our home. We have seen the construction of a new shed, car port, patio and driveway. We are eagerly awaiting flooring in the patio, a built in bbq, new front fence and new roof in 2010.
Well as I draw this letter to a close, I hope you are looking forward to the festive season. We all wish you a quiver full of blessings this Christmas and look forward to sharing some of them with you.
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to a customer, service; to all, charity; to every child, a good example; to yourself, respect." ~ Oren Arnold
With all our love xxxx
Footnote: Tree is up and mince tarts are filled with homemade mince!!
Merry Christmas
Maybe Christmas," he thought, "doesn't come from a store. Maybe Christmas... perhaps... means a little bit more."
~ Dr. Seuss (1904-1991).
To our dear friends and family,
Once again I am sitting here thinking how fast the year has gone and wondering if I filled each moment with something worthy. I am not sure of the answer but I hope I made a decent effort, thankfully I have next year to work on it.
For now however, I am simply allowing the Christmas magic to surround me. This wonderful festive season fills our home with music, decorations, lights and the lovely aroma of fresh baked mince tarts and shortbread. You are of course always welcome to call in and sample my many attempts at Christmas baking. I am reasonably happy with this last batch of mince tarts, the pastry is quite good but the filling is from a jar. I have fruit and brandy marinating as I write so will have to wait until I have a verdict. Our tree is still not up, yikes, and it is the middle of December but this is not for lack of trying - the dilemma we face is getting everyone home at the some time for longer than ½ an hour.
This is naturally the chaotic pace of our home.
2009 has been a good year, no major disasters came our way (we only had three children on crutches) and we are all still smiling at the end of each day. We started the year with our wedding, which was amazing and we are patiently waiting for an opportunity to take a honeymoon. We have enjoyed a few trips to Lake Tyers and enjoyed the sand, surf and blistering wind on occasion, despite the weather it is always the most preferred location to relax. The family is looking forward to next weekend when we can spend a few days together. Canoe and kayak on board not to forget the deck of cards, a bottle or two of red and we will be set.
All the children have completed school for another year with pleasing results. Chris and James said farewell to school at the end of November and are looking forward to moving onto a sports specific program in 2010.
Mary completed her Traineeship this month and is keenly anticipating a pay rise and promotion. She is a welcome sight when she calls around home, nowadays with Jas (her new beau) in tow.
Lee still works at the dog track each week; he has completed Year 9 and has his sights set high picking some rather complex subjects for next year. Lee plans to continue umpiring this football season.
Max is enjoying a hit of cricket on the weekends. His first year in secondary school was very social but he has brought home some great results this term. Max is keeping his sporting interest active looking forward to a new football season soon.
Elyse is still enjoying her creative streak, scrapbooking and cooking whenever she has a free moment. She ‘graduated’ from Year 9 and is ready to hit the senior campus next year. Anthony has had tough first year of secondary school but continues to keep us entertained with his antics at home. Elyse has had a good year at her new school, making many friends and is eagerly awaiting Grade 4.
Jack and I are still happily employed, and are both looking forward to ten days in January where we will have holidays at the same time! I took on a new role half way through this year as Training Coordinator and it has presented many challenges but I am, as always, supported by my family and amazing network of friends which allows me to take on such an exciting role.
This year has seen us enjoy a trip to Sydney for football, watched the twins play in the Victorian State Team( coached by Nathan Buckley)endless trips to Melbourne; a couple of literary events, trips to the theatre and the odd dinner at Southbank.
My book club (Book Buddies) ran for the first time this year, meeting once a month – books, wine, food and women – how much better can it possibly get?
When not gallivanting around the state we (Jack really) are organizing and coordinating some major renovations and additions to our home. We have seen the construction of a new shed, car port, patio and driveway. We are eagerly awaiting flooring in the patio, a built in bbq, new front fence and new roof in 2010.
Well as I draw this letter to a close, I hope you are looking forward to the festive season. We all wish you a quiver full of blessings this Christmas and look forward to sharing some of them with you.
Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness; to an opponent, tolerance; to a friend, your heart; to a customer, service; to all, charity; to every child, a good example; to yourself, respect." ~ Oren Arnold
With all our love xxxx
Footnote: Tree is up and mince tarts are filled with homemade mince!!
Merry Christmas
Globule Annihilation
I sat fear trickling down my spine.
Mother’s words echo
“Careful dear,
Careful now”
Sharp, swift, relentless,
Nowhere to hide!
I beg don’t look at me
Release me from this anguish
No more I plead, finish it now!
And with a final breath
I walk over the “fat farm” threshold.
AK
Mother’s words echo
“Careful dear,
Careful now”
Sharp, swift, relentless,
Nowhere to hide!
I beg don’t look at me
Release me from this anguish
No more I plead, finish it now!
And with a final breath
I walk over the “fat farm” threshold.
AK
Christmas 2008
Seasons Greetings to you from the clan.
We hope you are well and ready for the big day. We will be hosting Christmas in our new home this year. For those of you who don’t know let us go back a bit and fill in the blanks for you.
What a huge year it has been! Jack and I decided to become a permanent team selling both our houses and buying a fabulous old home in July. The house had been renovated and is full of character and charm. It is five minutes walk from the shopping centre, cafes, take away and video stores; it has a bungalow which is occupies by the twins – a haven for two “larger than life” 15 year olds. We began with ten people in the house but that has dropped back to nine with Mary (Audra’s) eldest moving into her own unit in October. Along with two Labradors it is a rather full house. Shortly after this we celebrated our engagement commemorated by a chauffeur driven ride in a Jag and intimate dinner just for two. The wedding, a quiet affair, will take place on the beach at Lake Tyers on January 31st followed by a cruise to the reception at a cosy winery a few minutes from Lakes Entrance. We are looking forward to a fabulous day, great weather and lots of laughs.
News on the children –Mary completed her VCE with great results and has begun a Traineeship with a financial advisory company. Mary and Cam (boyfriend) and their little pup Shelby live two doors away from her Dad and only a few minutes from us
Twins Chris and James have enjoyed another successful year of football and completed year 10. While both boys were in pre season training, Chris has broken his leg and is now spending long hours playing play station or watching TV. Another big year awaits them in football in 2009 so Chris will have to work hard to recover. Between their very active social lives and training we only see them when they are hungry or in need of transportation.
2
Lee completed year 8 with excellent results. He has started working as a catcher at the greyhound track on Friday nights and is enjoying earning his own money. Lee played baseball over winter. He is now dabbling in golf, playing guitar and drawing but his favourite pastime is the play station.
Elyse also completed Year 8 but is off to a new school next year. She has been a busy bee doing lots of craft and scrapbooking and making gorgeous Christmas gifts. She is our chief dog walker and they appreciate her very much!
Anthony graduated from Grade 6 and is finally moving on to the secondary. He and Max were in the same class this year and are each others shadows at home. He has taken on a paper round, which Max helps with when he is with us, and this is proving to be a very good little money spinner, not to mention great exercise. While nervous about starting Year 7 he is looking forward to meeting some new friends.
Anthony played baseball over winter but is not sure if he will play again this year. Max begins Year 7 at the same school as his primary school so the transition will be minimal. All the kids have had good growth spurts but Max’s has been most noticeable. When we kick them off the play station both Anthony and Max are happy to scoot around on their bikes or take the dogs for a walk. Max had a very successful season with football winning most Improved Player. He will pull on his jumper again this season.
Finally Jade will begin next year at her new school in grade 3. This is a very exciting new adventure for her and she can’t wait. Jade is a charming bundle of energy and plays the younger sister to the hilt! She also played baseball and is keen to play more sports now she is 8
As all parents we are flat out meeting needs of our brood, this in itself could be a full time occupation but thankfully we both have jobs to fund our enormous food bill! Jack will continue on at Australian Paper in 2009 and enjoy the benefits of shift work (with lots of days off) After a three month legal battle with her former employer Audra has left there and will begin a new job at as a Training Officer four days a week. This is a great relief and will be a welcome challenge.
Legal battle, you ask? Nothing terrible, just a disagreement between our family and the hierarchy on the appropriateness of how Audra choose to live her personal life.
Well 2009 is shaping up to be a great year, one of new beginnings and lots of excitement. We hope to do a family holiday up north later in the year amongst a few other activities (endless football runs, netball in the rain and grocery shopping!!!)
So this ends our Christmas letter and we wish you a wonderful Christmas Season and a very safe New Year.
We hope you are well and ready for the big day. We will be hosting Christmas in our new home this year. For those of you who don’t know let us go back a bit and fill in the blanks for you.
What a huge year it has been! Jack and I decided to become a permanent team selling both our houses and buying a fabulous old home in July. The house had been renovated and is full of character and charm. It is five minutes walk from the shopping centre, cafes, take away and video stores; it has a bungalow which is occupies by the twins – a haven for two “larger than life” 15 year olds. We began with ten people in the house but that has dropped back to nine with Mary (Audra’s) eldest moving into her own unit in October. Along with two Labradors it is a rather full house. Shortly after this we celebrated our engagement commemorated by a chauffeur driven ride in a Jag and intimate dinner just for two. The wedding, a quiet affair, will take place on the beach at Lake Tyers on January 31st followed by a cruise to the reception at a cosy winery a few minutes from Lakes Entrance. We are looking forward to a fabulous day, great weather and lots of laughs.
News on the children –Mary completed her VCE with great results and has begun a Traineeship with a financial advisory company. Mary and Cam (boyfriend) and their little pup Shelby live two doors away from her Dad and only a few minutes from us
Twins Chris and James have enjoyed another successful year of football and completed year 10. While both boys were in pre season training, Chris has broken his leg and is now spending long hours playing play station or watching TV. Another big year awaits them in football in 2009 so Chris will have to work hard to recover. Between their very active social lives and training we only see them when they are hungry or in need of transportation.
2
Lee completed year 8 with excellent results. He has started working as a catcher at the greyhound track on Friday nights and is enjoying earning his own money. Lee played baseball over winter. He is now dabbling in golf, playing guitar and drawing but his favourite pastime is the play station.
Elyse also completed Year 8 but is off to a new school next year. She has been a busy bee doing lots of craft and scrapbooking and making gorgeous Christmas gifts. She is our chief dog walker and they appreciate her very much!
Anthony graduated from Grade 6 and is finally moving on to the secondary. He and Max were in the same class this year and are each others shadows at home. He has taken on a paper round, which Max helps with when he is with us, and this is proving to be a very good little money spinner, not to mention great exercise. While nervous about starting Year 7 he is looking forward to meeting some new friends.
Anthony played baseball over winter but is not sure if he will play again this year. Max begins Year 7 at the same school as his primary school so the transition will be minimal. All the kids have had good growth spurts but Max’s has been most noticeable. When we kick them off the play station both Anthony and Max are happy to scoot around on their bikes or take the dogs for a walk. Max had a very successful season with football winning most Improved Player. He will pull on his jumper again this season.
Finally Jade will begin next year at her new school in grade 3. This is a very exciting new adventure for her and she can’t wait. Jade is a charming bundle of energy and plays the younger sister to the hilt! She also played baseball and is keen to play more sports now she is 8
As all parents we are flat out meeting needs of our brood, this in itself could be a full time occupation but thankfully we both have jobs to fund our enormous food bill! Jack will continue on at Australian Paper in 2009 and enjoy the benefits of shift work (with lots of days off) After a three month legal battle with her former employer Audra has left there and will begin a new job at as a Training Officer four days a week. This is a great relief and will be a welcome challenge.
Legal battle, you ask? Nothing terrible, just a disagreement between our family and the hierarchy on the appropriateness of how Audra choose to live her personal life.
Well 2009 is shaping up to be a great year, one of new beginnings and lots of excitement. We hope to do a family holiday up north later in the year amongst a few other activities (endless football runs, netball in the rain and grocery shopping!!!)
So this ends our Christmas letter and we wish you a wonderful Christmas Season and a very safe New Year.
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Aphonia
Silence in shared moments
Secrets of familiarity
Unspoken threads
Unheard hurts
Unshed tensions
Season of openness
Silence of shame
Audra
Secrets of familiarity
Unspoken threads
Unheard hurts
Unshed tensions
Season of openness
Silence of shame
Audra
Farewell
Dear friends and colleagues,
As the year draws to a close I felt it timely to say good bye. For those who may not have noticed, I have been away on leave since mid August and will not be returning as a staff member.
Despite what some of you may have been told I was not at any time on sick leave. I am not going to bore you with the details of my departure except to say that I was saddened to end my employment in this way.
Over the past three months I have had my life turned upside down; my character and integrity called into question and in the end lost my job. A judgment call was made on how I live my personal life, the decisions I needed to make to support my children and the values I uphold. Somehow my value as an employee was overshadowed by my private life.
I’m not sure about anyone else but I found this confronting and offensive.
Many times I have heard it said that hard things happen in your life and they make you stronger, build character and resiliency; so if they are correct, then I must not be a very fast learner. I have in my life had enough trauma, distress and heartache to last several life times and so when I found myself facing yet another challenge I was a little dumbfounded.
Despite feeling coerced and manipulated, I chose to defend myself against the school’s interpretation of the guidelines. The final resolution of this situation has left me with a sense of justice. The process however, has been costly on many fronts, but none so much as my own children, my fiancé and the children I had the privilege to work with. I am grieved that the decisions made affected my students so much. I miss them. I miss the many staff members who made my days enjoyable. There are in fact many things I miss about working but little of it stems from the institution itself.
Finally I would like to thank you all for your friendship, the many laughs and many challenges given to me while I was a part of the team. I wish you all a very safe holiday time.
Merry Christmas and Goodbye
Audra
As the year draws to a close I felt it timely to say good bye. For those who may not have noticed, I have been away on leave since mid August and will not be returning as a staff member.
Despite what some of you may have been told I was not at any time on sick leave. I am not going to bore you with the details of my departure except to say that I was saddened to end my employment in this way.
Over the past three months I have had my life turned upside down; my character and integrity called into question and in the end lost my job. A judgment call was made on how I live my personal life, the decisions I needed to make to support my children and the values I uphold. Somehow my value as an employee was overshadowed by my private life.
I’m not sure about anyone else but I found this confronting and offensive.
Many times I have heard it said that hard things happen in your life and they make you stronger, build character and resiliency; so if they are correct, then I must not be a very fast learner. I have in my life had enough trauma, distress and heartache to last several life times and so when I found myself facing yet another challenge I was a little dumbfounded.
Despite feeling coerced and manipulated, I chose to defend myself against the school’s interpretation of the guidelines. The final resolution of this situation has left me with a sense of justice. The process however, has been costly on many fronts, but none so much as my own children, my fiancé and the children I had the privilege to work with. I am grieved that the decisions made affected my students so much. I miss them. I miss the many staff members who made my days enjoyable. There are in fact many things I miss about working but little of it stems from the institution itself.
Finally I would like to thank you all for your friendship, the many laughs and many challenges given to me while I was a part of the team. I wish you all a very safe holiday time.
Merry Christmas and Goodbye
Audra
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Letters
Dear Followers,
I have begun a series of letters, these are genuine letters with some names changed for privacy.
This series covers: The God Factor, Dear Ruth, Flipside, To my daughter, Ordinary Letters.
Please share my journey.
A
I have begun a series of letters, these are genuine letters with some names changed for privacy.
This series covers: The God Factor, Dear Ruth, Flipside, To my daughter, Ordinary Letters.
Please share my journey.
A
The God factor
Dear Susan,
A few days ago when we had our meeting, I still felt there was more to be said, as this whole incident has really got me thinking about some underlying issues that I have with religion and any place in general where there is a hierarchy. I want to be open with you, as I don’t think that idle talk is good for anyone.
Let me start by saying that I respect you enormously as a person and a leader and I certainly do not envy your position. Maybe at times recently I have felt I might want to swear at you, or throw eggs or even make you feel guilty. However, I thought a letter might be more constructive.
I’m not by any means an expert on religion, philosophy, the Bible or leadership, so I apologise if this letter exposes my ignorance. In fact, until this year I probably haven’t had a real grasp of what being a Christian is really about. These are simply my views which I am handing to you on paper in the hope they might be explored. You may disagree with a lot of what I have to say, but I think that opposition and challenge is the first step to growth.
I am challenged by the school’s uncompromising position on this issue concerning Audra and I guess I am struggling to see things from your point of view, but I think it’s important to try. Of course God should be the most important factor in any decision we make and I guess I do have some doubts that God was the basis for your decision. After witnessing the devastating effect this has had on staff I am concerned that the decision has placed the school’s image over the best interests of our team. I can’t believe that God would play a part in a decision that would push people away and make them feel so undervalued. It is this lack of forgiveness, compassion and love in dealing with this issue has disappointed me more than anything.
My issue with religion and in fact any organisation is the regrettable tendency of its members to believe in “one size fits all” answers. To me it seems ludicrous to believe that there is a set of rules and beliefs that could apply to every person in every situation. If uniformity is what we are aiming for, then could we not in deed be replaced by robots? The world is far too complicated for that, and the line between right and wrong is often far too faint. I would hate to live in a world where people blindly follow a set of rules without question. We have free will, and that is something God has given us. It is up to each individual to seek the wisdom and knowledge to know what is right. And I struggle with that every day, as I’m sure you do.
I think sometimes we can get caught up in this idea of pleasing God instead of trusting God. In stead of always trying to do what is right by God, sometimes we need to trust that he will work things through in his own time. This brings me back to my staff devotion the other morning about relating ourselves to people inside and outside of Christian circles. I don’t think we want to get caught up in projecting a certain image that is pleasing to others, because I don’t think that is what being a Christian is all about. It is first and foremost about honesty and being “real”. Because if we can’t be honest with ourselves, then how can we be honest with God?
While this is not an issue about me, I do feel a certain amount of personal grievance at this incident. It is not a nice sensation to feel that you are being watched and judged by people in your workplace. Obviously there is an obligation for us as a Christian school to uphold certain values and model these to our students. But I don’t think it is anyone’s position to force these values on anyone. Someone said to me on the weekend that rather than condemning people who do things we may disagree with, perhaps more would be gained from walking with them – and sometimes when you walk beside them you can gradually steer them in the right direction. As a religious institution, we are not going to relate to anyone by inflicting rules and forcing our values on other people.
So I’ve kind of talked in general terms and circled around the issue here. What it all comes down to is that as a team we are all united by one thing. And that is God. We all choose to follow him in different ways and whether we perceive that is the right way or the wrong way is neither here nor there. It is that person’s issue with God. It does anger me to see someone on our staff suffering because a decision has been made without this team’s best interests in mind. Audra a is someone who I respect and love so much, and I fear that whether it was the intention or not, the decision to isolate her from the school has become a decision between her own values and those of the school, not of what is right with God. I can only hope that the God that we all believe in will help Audra get through this time and come out a stronger person because of it.
Let me finish off with an analogy. There is a beautiful work of art on display in an art gallery which is colourful and created by the same artist that all the other paintings hanging around it were made by. On this painting, some of the paint has run a little, but you can only see it if you look very closely. Does this tiny imperfection mean that the entire painting is not worthy of its place in the art gallery, despite its other wonderful features? Or should we appreciate the whole painting for what it is and not focus on the tiny imperfection?
I guess that the ultimate intention of this letter is to show you that there is another perspective. You can either choose to dismiss it or read it with an open heart. Above all, I hope you are challenged by it, because challenge is the first step to growth. It also makes for interesting conversation.
I am open to discussing this letter further,
Meg
A few days ago when we had our meeting, I still felt there was more to be said, as this whole incident has really got me thinking about some underlying issues that I have with religion and any place in general where there is a hierarchy. I want to be open with you, as I don’t think that idle talk is good for anyone.
Let me start by saying that I respect you enormously as a person and a leader and I certainly do not envy your position. Maybe at times recently I have felt I might want to swear at you, or throw eggs or even make you feel guilty. However, I thought a letter might be more constructive.
I’m not by any means an expert on religion, philosophy, the Bible or leadership, so I apologise if this letter exposes my ignorance. In fact, until this year I probably haven’t had a real grasp of what being a Christian is really about. These are simply my views which I am handing to you on paper in the hope they might be explored. You may disagree with a lot of what I have to say, but I think that opposition and challenge is the first step to growth.
I am challenged by the school’s uncompromising position on this issue concerning Audra and I guess I am struggling to see things from your point of view, but I think it’s important to try. Of course God should be the most important factor in any decision we make and I guess I do have some doubts that God was the basis for your decision. After witnessing the devastating effect this has had on staff I am concerned that the decision has placed the school’s image over the best interests of our team. I can’t believe that God would play a part in a decision that would push people away and make them feel so undervalued. It is this lack of forgiveness, compassion and love in dealing with this issue has disappointed me more than anything.
My issue with religion and in fact any organisation is the regrettable tendency of its members to believe in “one size fits all” answers. To me it seems ludicrous to believe that there is a set of rules and beliefs that could apply to every person in every situation. If uniformity is what we are aiming for, then could we not in deed be replaced by robots? The world is far too complicated for that, and the line between right and wrong is often far too faint. I would hate to live in a world where people blindly follow a set of rules without question. We have free will, and that is something God has given us. It is up to each individual to seek the wisdom and knowledge to know what is right. And I struggle with that every day, as I’m sure you do.
I think sometimes we can get caught up in this idea of pleasing God instead of trusting God. In stead of always trying to do what is right by God, sometimes we need to trust that he will work things through in his own time. This brings me back to my staff devotion the other morning about relating ourselves to people inside and outside of Christian circles. I don’t think we want to get caught up in projecting a certain image that is pleasing to others, because I don’t think that is what being a Christian is all about. It is first and foremost about honesty and being “real”. Because if we can’t be honest with ourselves, then how can we be honest with God?
While this is not an issue about me, I do feel a certain amount of personal grievance at this incident. It is not a nice sensation to feel that you are being watched and judged by people in your workplace. Obviously there is an obligation for us as a Christian school to uphold certain values and model these to our students. But I don’t think it is anyone’s position to force these values on anyone. Someone said to me on the weekend that rather than condemning people who do things we may disagree with, perhaps more would be gained from walking with them – and sometimes when you walk beside them you can gradually steer them in the right direction. As a religious institution, we are not going to relate to anyone by inflicting rules and forcing our values on other people.
So I’ve kind of talked in general terms and circled around the issue here. What it all comes down to is that as a team we are all united by one thing. And that is God. We all choose to follow him in different ways and whether we perceive that is the right way or the wrong way is neither here nor there. It is that person’s issue with God. It does anger me to see someone on our staff suffering because a decision has been made without this team’s best interests in mind. Audra a is someone who I respect and love so much, and I fear that whether it was the intention or not, the decision to isolate her from the school has become a decision between her own values and those of the school, not of what is right with God. I can only hope that the God that we all believe in will help Audra get through this time and come out a stronger person because of it.
Let me finish off with an analogy. There is a beautiful work of art on display in an art gallery which is colourful and created by the same artist that all the other paintings hanging around it were made by. On this painting, some of the paint has run a little, but you can only see it if you look very closely. Does this tiny imperfection mean that the entire painting is not worthy of its place in the art gallery, despite its other wonderful features? Or should we appreciate the whole painting for what it is and not focus on the tiny imperfection?
I guess that the ultimate intention of this letter is to show you that there is another perspective. You can either choose to dismiss it or read it with an open heart. Above all, I hope you are challenged by it, because challenge is the first step to growth. It also makes for interesting conversation.
I am open to discussing this letter further,
Meg
To my daughter
September 6th, 2008
Dear Mary,
I have wondered what it would be like the day you turn 18 and here we are celebrating this grand occasion. The sun is shining brilliantly, as it should on the day a beautiful girl was born 18 years ago. It is hard for a mother to explain the emotions I am feeling as I say “congratulations, well done, I am so proud” while at the same time I am thinking” it’s time to let go”, my baby girl is leaving the nest.
You have been preparing for this day your whole life and I have watched and guided its progress, every step of the way. I have been there to celebrate with you the many high points, share the challenges and hopefully pick up the pieces when things turned sour.
In 18 years you have brought great joy and also heartache. To be so beautiful is a blessing and a curse. To be so smart is also a blessing and curse. To be wise is only a blessing. I hope and pray for you to gain much wisdom in the years ahead. We can only become wise through experience and enough humility to learn from our mistakes. I pray that wisdom becomes your friend and joy your closest companion.
In life if you can find hope and opportunity for good in all situations, no matter how bleak they may seem, then you will be a happy person. Remember you are always better off than someone else.
I hope you will look back on your childhood and find many good memories. I hope you will remember how much you were loved, I hope you will look back and say “it was good”
Mary, enjoy the journey ahead, live as if it is your last day here, love as if you have nothing to lose and remember for as long as I am alive I will be here for you.
I look forward to many things now as you enter this new stage: many cups of coffee, dinner at your place and of course babysitter on tap for those amazing brothers and sisters of yours!!!
Most of all I look forward to sharing it with the most amazing woman in the world – my daughter Mary.
Keep smiling, my girl.
love you forever
Mum xxxxxx
Dear Mary,
I have wondered what it would be like the day you turn 18 and here we are celebrating this grand occasion. The sun is shining brilliantly, as it should on the day a beautiful girl was born 18 years ago. It is hard for a mother to explain the emotions I am feeling as I say “congratulations, well done, I am so proud” while at the same time I am thinking” it’s time to let go”, my baby girl is leaving the nest.
You have been preparing for this day your whole life and I have watched and guided its progress, every step of the way. I have been there to celebrate with you the many high points, share the challenges and hopefully pick up the pieces when things turned sour.
In 18 years you have brought great joy and also heartache. To be so beautiful is a blessing and a curse. To be so smart is also a blessing and curse. To be wise is only a blessing. I hope and pray for you to gain much wisdom in the years ahead. We can only become wise through experience and enough humility to learn from our mistakes. I pray that wisdom becomes your friend and joy your closest companion.
In life if you can find hope and opportunity for good in all situations, no matter how bleak they may seem, then you will be a happy person. Remember you are always better off than someone else.
I hope you will look back on your childhood and find many good memories. I hope you will remember how much you were loved, I hope you will look back and say “it was good”
Mary, enjoy the journey ahead, live as if it is your last day here, love as if you have nothing to lose and remember for as long as I am alive I will be here for you.
I look forward to many things now as you enter this new stage: many cups of coffee, dinner at your place and of course babysitter on tap for those amazing brothers and sisters of yours!!!
Most of all I look forward to sharing it with the most amazing woman in the world – my daughter Mary.
Keep smiling, my girl.
love you forever
Mum xxxxxx
Flipside
Hey A,
I hope today is a better day for you. Have been trying to figure out whats going on and why this is happening to you. Decided I am clueless but whatever the case, the fact you will be out of there soon can only be a good thing. Here's to the start of new beginnings - I just wish the partings were on better terms. No matter what the reasons, you have been a true asset to the school. I know they must think they are doing the 'right' thing but I am sad that the kids are the ones losing out on this count. I just hope it hasn't burnt you too much. I can't put it into words but you have a real gift helping people - Just hope you keep doing that in the future.
Hopefully by this time tomorrow I'll be on the mend. Figured I'd better do the whole 'love you mate thing' just in case though. You know I do - you know I couldnt have managed without you this year especially, but most of all I've loved our friendship. You are 'real' and I love the person you are. Bugger what everyone else thinks - you're tops in my books. It's cool cos you choose me to be your mate which makes me feel speshal ;)
Anywho, intend to ring you if i can tomorrow night, although am thinking it will most likely be a text. Keep me in your prayers when you chat to God - put in a good word for me just in case ok ;)
Love you heaps mate, see you on the flip side.
xox L
I hope today is a better day for you. Have been trying to figure out whats going on and why this is happening to you. Decided I am clueless but whatever the case, the fact you will be out of there soon can only be a good thing. Here's to the start of new beginnings - I just wish the partings were on better terms. No matter what the reasons, you have been a true asset to the school. I know they must think they are doing the 'right' thing but I am sad that the kids are the ones losing out on this count. I just hope it hasn't burnt you too much. I can't put it into words but you have a real gift helping people - Just hope you keep doing that in the future.
Hopefully by this time tomorrow I'll be on the mend. Figured I'd better do the whole 'love you mate thing' just in case though. You know I do - you know I couldnt have managed without you this year especially, but most of all I've loved our friendship. You are 'real' and I love the person you are. Bugger what everyone else thinks - you're tops in my books. It's cool cos you choose me to be your mate which makes me feel speshal ;)
Anywho, intend to ring you if i can tomorrow night, although am thinking it will most likely be a text. Keep me in your prayers when you chat to God - put in a good word for me just in case ok ;)
Love you heaps mate, see you on the flip side.
xox L
Dear Ruth
Dear Ruth,
I hope this letter finds you well. I am choosing to write to you because it is easier at times to express my thoughts on paper than in person. This is not to make it any less important. Time is always an affecting factor in conversations as well.
I guess what I want to do is fill you in on the changes that have happened and that are to happen. As you will have worked out by now I am seeing Jack again, and have been for some time now. We have been fortunate to have picked up our relationship from where we left it some years ago and continue in a better way. When Charles left it was devastating to the kids but not as shocking to me, a part of me always worried about him staying around. So I guess picking up, after the decision to go separate ways, was easier this time. If nothing else we tried to rebuild together but have no doubt that it is now well and truly over. Charles will always have an important part in the kids lives, the extent of this will be up to him.
Jack has two sons, Lee and Maxwell, who get along very well with the kids; they have all taken the news of our relationship very well and encouraged its progression. We have decided to combine households and are looking for a house together. It looks as though mine is sold now, after signing unconditional contracts, and so a lot a pressure will now be taken off both Charles and me. The conclusion of this sale will allow us both to move on with our lives. The kids are looking forward to resettling and a new start.
But in all the changes I wanted to assure you that you have always been and will be a vital part of the kids’ lives. I hope you will still be a wonderful Grandmother to them and friend to me. I hope we will always be welcome at your home as you will be in ours. Over the many years I have been a part of your life, you have been a blessing in so many ways, I could never write them all down, but believe me when I say I am forever thankful to you.
Jack and I are going away this weekend to Sydney, a trip I am very much looking forward to. Charles will be spending this time with the kids, which is also a good opportunity for them all to catch up again.
Some news on the kids: Elyse is on camp in Canberra at the moment, she of all the kids, is finding the changes in her life the hardest, I guess hormones are playing a big part in her reactions as well, but I have no doubt she will be fine (as she is every other day).
Mary is working lots and still finding school easy; we don’t see her as much these days but that is ok. She is still dating Cameron and this seems to be going quite well.
The twins are of course doing everything at full speed, rarely idle for any length of time. They are now waiting to hear if they made the State Football team; it will not be announced until June 10th. My greatest fear is that one will get picked and the other twin wont, but that is a reality that may have to face in time to come. They were both captains of the School Football Team yesterday and competed against four other Catholic schools; they won convincingly and this sees them go to Melbourne to compete in a few weeks. Of course their lives revolve around their sport, but they are keen to get some work, just not sure how to fit this in around so many training sessions. School is not their favourite place and we have had many issues arise from there, but hopefully they can stay there long enough to get a decent trade or something to that effect. Young Anthony is doing ok; did I tell you I took him to a specialist? Well I did and he has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, which has been questioned for some years now. This doesn’t change too many things at home, but will at school and hopefully help those close to him understand him better. We will be making some changes to his diet over time to try and help him also. Of course he is still devouring his books; it is hard to keep up with his need for new books. Now, Jade is fine, cruising along nicely with no major issues at all. Of course she is only seven!
If you would be happy too please pass these changes onto William, I don’t see him much, but I know you catch up with him fairly often as well as Elizabeth and Stephen. Would you please also pass on my news and thanks to Louise? She has been and I hope will continue to be a valued part of the kids lives. My children are most fortunate to have so many good people in their lives. I have filled in Jill and Mark when I sent her birthday card.
So in closing my kids are happy, keen to resettle and begin again. I am happy also and looking forward to so many things in the future.
Looking forward to enjoying a cuppa with you soon.
Take care,
Love Audra
I hope this letter finds you well. I am choosing to write to you because it is easier at times to express my thoughts on paper than in person. This is not to make it any less important. Time is always an affecting factor in conversations as well.
I guess what I want to do is fill you in on the changes that have happened and that are to happen. As you will have worked out by now I am seeing Jack again, and have been for some time now. We have been fortunate to have picked up our relationship from where we left it some years ago and continue in a better way. When Charles left it was devastating to the kids but not as shocking to me, a part of me always worried about him staying around. So I guess picking up, after the decision to go separate ways, was easier this time. If nothing else we tried to rebuild together but have no doubt that it is now well and truly over. Charles will always have an important part in the kids lives, the extent of this will be up to him.
Jack has two sons, Lee and Maxwell, who get along very well with the kids; they have all taken the news of our relationship very well and encouraged its progression. We have decided to combine households and are looking for a house together. It looks as though mine is sold now, after signing unconditional contracts, and so a lot a pressure will now be taken off both Charles and me. The conclusion of this sale will allow us both to move on with our lives. The kids are looking forward to resettling and a new start.
But in all the changes I wanted to assure you that you have always been and will be a vital part of the kids’ lives. I hope you will still be a wonderful Grandmother to them and friend to me. I hope we will always be welcome at your home as you will be in ours. Over the many years I have been a part of your life, you have been a blessing in so many ways, I could never write them all down, but believe me when I say I am forever thankful to you.
Jack and I are going away this weekend to Sydney, a trip I am very much looking forward to. Charles will be spending this time with the kids, which is also a good opportunity for them all to catch up again.
Some news on the kids: Elyse is on camp in Canberra at the moment, she of all the kids, is finding the changes in her life the hardest, I guess hormones are playing a big part in her reactions as well, but I have no doubt she will be fine (as she is every other day).
Mary is working lots and still finding school easy; we don’t see her as much these days but that is ok. She is still dating Cameron and this seems to be going quite well.
The twins are of course doing everything at full speed, rarely idle for any length of time. They are now waiting to hear if they made the State Football team; it will not be announced until June 10th. My greatest fear is that one will get picked and the other twin wont, but that is a reality that may have to face in time to come. They were both captains of the School Football Team yesterday and competed against four other Catholic schools; they won convincingly and this sees them go to Melbourne to compete in a few weeks. Of course their lives revolve around their sport, but they are keen to get some work, just not sure how to fit this in around so many training sessions. School is not their favourite place and we have had many issues arise from there, but hopefully they can stay there long enough to get a decent trade or something to that effect. Young Anthony is doing ok; did I tell you I took him to a specialist? Well I did and he has been diagnosed with Aspergers Syndrome, which has been questioned for some years now. This doesn’t change too many things at home, but will at school and hopefully help those close to him understand him better. We will be making some changes to his diet over time to try and help him also. Of course he is still devouring his books; it is hard to keep up with his need for new books. Now, Jade is fine, cruising along nicely with no major issues at all. Of course she is only seven!
If you would be happy too please pass these changes onto William, I don’t see him much, but I know you catch up with him fairly often as well as Elizabeth and Stephen. Would you please also pass on my news and thanks to Louise? She has been and I hope will continue to be a valued part of the kids lives. My children are most fortunate to have so many good people in their lives. I have filled in Jill and Mark when I sent her birthday card.
So in closing my kids are happy, keen to resettle and begin again. I am happy also and looking forward to so many things in the future.
Looking forward to enjoying a cuppa with you soon.
Take care,
Love Audra
Ordinary letter 2007
Dear Jill,
The year has flown by and once again I am wishing you a very happy birthday for Saturday. I hope you have a fabulous day and enjoy each moment with your family and friends.
Unfortunately I will not see you for your birthday as I will be in Sydney. Jack and I are heading away for a few days and I am looking forward to this very much.
News on the side, the house looks as though it is finally sold and should settle on July 7th; this is a great relief after some months of anxiety surrounding the sale. The kids and I are looking forward to re settling in the city. Jack and I have decided to join households and so we are looking for a house together. That in itself is quite a challenge to find one that suits us all. We are looking at a lovely old house; it has been renovated inside and would be quite good. Other than house and family issues, all is good, the kids are great, all doing well in their chosen areas. The boys were disappointed to hear that they were not allowed to attend John’s party the other week; this was a shame seeing as they don’t get to catch up a lot these days. But life is busy and so keeps us on our toes. I hope you enjoyed the Deb night; it was nice to see you again.
Hoping all is well in your life, both at work and at home.
Have a great day.
The year has flown by and once again I am wishing you a very happy birthday for Saturday. I hope you have a fabulous day and enjoy each moment with your family and friends.
Unfortunately I will not see you for your birthday as I will be in Sydney. Jack and I are heading away for a few days and I am looking forward to this very much.
News on the side, the house looks as though it is finally sold and should settle on July 7th; this is a great relief after some months of anxiety surrounding the sale. The kids and I are looking forward to re settling in the city. Jack and I have decided to join households and so we are looking for a house together. That in itself is quite a challenge to find one that suits us all. We are looking at a lovely old house; it has been renovated inside and would be quite good. Other than house and family issues, all is good, the kids are great, all doing well in their chosen areas. The boys were disappointed to hear that they were not allowed to attend John’s party the other week; this was a shame seeing as they don’t get to catch up a lot these days. But life is busy and so keeps us on our toes. I hope you enjoyed the Deb night; it was nice to see you again.
Hoping all is well in your life, both at work and at home.
Have a great day.
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
Imaginings...
Imagine…
A day of doubt
A moment of fear
A time withheartache
Panic and tears
Imagine …
A day of hope
A moment of joy
A time with hope
Courage and laughter
Imagine…
A life of despair
A moment of terror
A time without tomorrow
Hollow and barren
Imagine…
A life of dancing
A moment of freedom
A time with passion
Purpose and dreams
What do you imagine…?
A day of doubt
A moment of fear
A time withheartache
Panic and tears
Imagine …
A day of hope
A moment of joy
A time with hope
Courage and laughter
Imagine…
A life of despair
A moment of terror
A time without tomorrow
Hollow and barren
Imagine…
A life of dancing
A moment of freedom
A time with passion
Purpose and dreams
What do you imagine…?
Tuesday, May 25, 2010
Breathe
Keep walking I tell myself, over and over. I know if I keep putting one foot in front of the other I will be ok. The combined smells of salt and seaweed fill my nostrils; I have arrived, although recollection of my travel elude me, I am here. I breathe like a woman gasping for her last breath; I need to inhale until there is no room for anything other than the soothing scents of my ocean. I relax, I am safe. Closing my eyes, I thrust my face towards the darkening sky. Maybe it will rain; the air is heavy with moisture.
In the forefront of my mind’s eye I still see him, swaying, demanding his way in. The acrid smell of alcohol over my face has not dissipated, I shudder and breathe deeply. I still feel his power, I can taste his hostility. His strength, never diminished by his state of inebriation, I recall praying for him to pass out; thankful our children were not home.
He is an imposing figure, sober or otherwise, it has been said he possesses the physical strength of several men. I should know, seventeen years I called myself his wife - I should indeed, know.
I could not stop him entering the house anymore than I stopped myself berating him. I was beyond anger. The rhythmic thud of my heart gained momentum and aligned itself with the clock set high on the kitchen wall. I was afraid, livid. Inside this house, no longer a home, I was suffocating. His presence sapped the air, replacing it with angst and passion. Was he angry or hurt? I briefly wondered, then I realised, I simply did not care.
I wanted him to let me go, release me from his tightening grip. I felt the weight of him, his control unnatural. I prayed for escape.
The course mix of sand and seashells push into the cavities between my toes, the discomfort is welcome. I can no longer taste the saltiness in my mouth, for now, the tears are dry. I walk swiftly welcoming the breeze, like an old friend, I am embraced by the damp air surrounding me. I have no destination, I head for the horizon. Vigorously I pound the sand allowing the water to wash over my feet; it is a cleansing and refreshing ritual.
I wonder and try to recall how many times I have been here; walking to what seemed the ends of the earth. How many tears have I surrendered into the ocean’s swell?
As the sand bends with the mountain walls I enter the folds of the ocean, slowly embracing the icy swell as it laps my knees, my thighs. The splash soaks my underclothes, how welcoming, how soothing. Sliding into the depths of the tide, beads of sweat, trailing between my breasts and over my stomach wash away. At last I am submerged, I am surrounded and I can no longer hear anything other than the ocean’s symphony.
Momentarily I come out for air, with each moment the cyclic ebb and flow ease my heavy heart. One more time the encroaching darkness wraps its infinite arms around me and I am safe.
In the forefront of my mind’s eye I still see him, swaying, demanding his way in. The acrid smell of alcohol over my face has not dissipated, I shudder and breathe deeply. I still feel his power, I can taste his hostility. His strength, never diminished by his state of inebriation, I recall praying for him to pass out; thankful our children were not home.
He is an imposing figure, sober or otherwise, it has been said he possesses the physical strength of several men. I should know, seventeen years I called myself his wife - I should indeed, know.
I could not stop him entering the house anymore than I stopped myself berating him. I was beyond anger. The rhythmic thud of my heart gained momentum and aligned itself with the clock set high on the kitchen wall. I was afraid, livid. Inside this house, no longer a home, I was suffocating. His presence sapped the air, replacing it with angst and passion. Was he angry or hurt? I briefly wondered, then I realised, I simply did not care.
I wanted him to let me go, release me from his tightening grip. I felt the weight of him, his control unnatural. I prayed for escape.
The course mix of sand and seashells push into the cavities between my toes, the discomfort is welcome. I can no longer taste the saltiness in my mouth, for now, the tears are dry. I walk swiftly welcoming the breeze, like an old friend, I am embraced by the damp air surrounding me. I have no destination, I head for the horizon. Vigorously I pound the sand allowing the water to wash over my feet; it is a cleansing and refreshing ritual.
I wonder and try to recall how many times I have been here; walking to what seemed the ends of the earth. How many tears have I surrendered into the ocean’s swell?
As the sand bends with the mountain walls I enter the folds of the ocean, slowly embracing the icy swell as it laps my knees, my thighs. The splash soaks my underclothes, how welcoming, how soothing. Sliding into the depths of the tide, beads of sweat, trailing between my breasts and over my stomach wash away. At last I am submerged, I am surrounded and I can no longer hear anything other than the ocean’s symphony.
Momentarily I come out for air, with each moment the cyclic ebb and flow ease my heavy heart. One more time the encroaching darkness wraps its infinite arms around me and I am safe.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Waiting
I wait with silent wonder
To see your face
To hear your voice
Maybe feel your touch
Only one sleep
Before we meet
Alone I will not be
But with loved ones
To lend a hand
Give a shoulder
Wipe a tear
It is the festive season
But festive will we be
For past memories
Are cruel for you
And crushing for me
All dreams of circumstance
Shattered
Was not of lovers torn
But from a brutal hunter's path
Not from love
That I was born
Only hate and pain
Of a strangers scorn
Crowds will pass oblivious
my child will look unaware
smile or simply stare
One day
I will tell her of our meeting
and maybe more
December 1990
To see your face
To hear your voice
Maybe feel your touch
Only one sleep
Before we meet
Alone I will not be
But with loved ones
To lend a hand
Give a shoulder
Wipe a tear
It is the festive season
But festive will we be
For past memories
Are cruel for you
And crushing for me
All dreams of circumstance
Shattered
Was not of lovers torn
But from a brutal hunter's path
Not from love
That I was born
Only hate and pain
Of a strangers scorn
Crowds will pass oblivious
my child will look unaware
smile or simply stare
One day
I will tell her of our meeting
and maybe more
December 1990
Sunday, March 14, 2010
Here I am!!
Welcome to my first post. How exciting, well for me at least. I have never made a blog site so this is all very new. I am still not sure who will read this, if anyone at all: but if you are, I am happy to have you on board WriteOn!
Typically it is late, and I have spent considerable time establishing my tiny portion in cyberspace.
Quote for the day : "To know how to begin....is a great art." Flaubert
I look forward to your posts...
A
Typically it is late, and I have spent considerable time establishing my tiny portion in cyberspace.
Quote for the day : "To know how to begin....is a great art." Flaubert
I look forward to your posts...
A
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